Jay Ledesma
Last week, we looked into the 3 fundamental Japanese principles of Ikigai, Kaizen and Outaibori, and learned how we can benefit when we apply them in our daily life.
We now explore 3 more principles that can help us live simpler, more relaxed and happier.
Shikata ga nai (Control what you can control) – There are so many things in life that we have power over and can influence. In fact, it is said that we are the master of our fate, of our destiny. But though this is true, we also need to recognize that there are things and events in our life that cannot be helped, that we cannot control. Most of us have already experienced a situation where after careful planning and execution, things still do not go as expected. A bad weather, a power interruption, a lay-off, an accident, a pandemic or other people’s opinion, is something that we cannot control and can ruin even the best thought of plans. And no matter how angry and frustrated we get, we just cannot stop them. The sooner we realize and accept this, the easier it will be for us to move on.
This principle teaches us to let go of what we cannot control. It’s useless to spend time and energy on something that we cannot change. Doing so will just make us stressed and anxious. Be mindful, however, that this is not about resignation or giving up. It is about accepting and acknowledging that there are things that are outside of our control, and that’s okay. Instead, focus on those that you can change or influence.
So the next time you are faced with adversity or challenge, ask yourself if it is something beyond your control. If yes, then instead of fighting or resisting it, accept and focus on what you can control. You cannot control the opinions and comments of people on your social media posts. But you control how you will react. You can fight, bash back, cancel or block them. The choice is yours.
By embracing the principle of shikata ga nai, you can be more accepting of the circumstances, more open to adapting to the situation and have inner peace and calm, even when things do not go your way.
Wabi-sabi (Beauty in Imperfection) – If you want to punish and stress yourself, then try to be perfect. Because no one is perfect and perfection is impossible. However, in the world that we now live in, there is so much expectation and pressure to be perfect. Any tinge of mistakes and failures can earn negative comments, bashing or lashing out from people around us, even from those we do not know from Adam. That’s why so many people are hooked to those different “filter” apps and “enhancement” procedures, just to have a perfect image of themselves. Many times, we are no longer sure if the images we see on social media posts or even in person, are real or have been “perfected”. In our unrealistic pursuit of perfection, we sometimes tend to invent a different version of ourselves, that we already lose connection with our truest inner-selves in the process.
The principle of Wabi-sabi points us to seek beauty in imperfection and to accept the natural cycle of life. It reminds us that everything, even life itself, is imperfect, incomplete and impermanent. The more we accept and live this truth, the easier for us to appreciate what is simple, real and authentic, within and around us.
But wabi-sabi does not mean that we do not go for improvement. Instead of going after perfection, it encourages us to strive for excellence. Embrace mistakes and failures for they teach us important lessons on how to be better next time. Be proud of those scars and wrinkles as each has a beautiful and inspiring story to tell.
By practicing wabi-sabi, we can easily find joy and happiness even if we do not have everything. We can be more thankful, realistic and find beauty and contentment even in the most imperfect situations.
Shu-Ha-Ri (Learning and Mastery) – Amidst our fast paced lifestyle and desire for what is accessible and instant, we are often tempted to fast track how we learn and do things. While there are things that we can easily learn and do, there is no shortcut to greatness. We do not acquire mastery of things overnight.
Shu-Ha-Ri is a way of thinking on how to learn and master a technique. Though it’s originally a concept in martial arts, it has been applied to business, politics, academe and even personal development. Accordingly, there are 3 stages of learning and acquiring knowledge and skills:
Shu (follow the rules) – learn the basics/fundamentals by strictly following the teaching of those considered masters of your chosen field. Observe, learn and follow are the minimum expectations in this stage. Rookies are often provided detailed instructions, scripts, manuals, etc., that they are expected to memorize and follow to the letter and by heart. Unless we have the mastery of the fundamentals, there is a big chance that we will struggle later on.
Ha (break the rules) – once mastery of the basics is obtained and a solid foundation is formed, we can now start experimenting and exploring new ideas and techniques. Changes in the market, product and regulations require us to find new and up-to-date approaches on how to do things. We learn from others and integrate the learnings into the new ways. But because we have the fundamentals, it will be easier for us to go back in case the experimentation does not work.
Ri (create your own rules) – after learning the fundamentals and doing our own trial and error, we can now create and develop our own unique style and approach. Mastery of the basics and consistently learning from our successful and failed exploration will lead us to knowing our own identity, flair and flavor. A little tweak and turn here and there, and voila… you have your own brand. But having found your own style does not mean that you will stop innovating and evolving… for as long as yours is solid to the core.
Shu-Ha-Ri puts value on having a strong foundation, and learning from others and from new experiences, even before we develop our own style. Through this principle, we do not only achieve mastery of our chosen field but we are encouraged to explore and create our own way of doing things.
Life can be chaotic and toxic. Let us be mindful of and live these proven Japanese life principles so we can still achieve peace, orderliness and contentment. (Jay Ledesma)